Thank you for Moses and Eloise emerging from the bedroom this morning covered in Moses's favorite blue smelly marker - Eloise with a blue mustache, matching drawings on both of their bare chests. Thank you for Moses who thoughtfully studied the drawing on Eloise’s back and said, reflecting on his work, “I think that might actually be my best ghost so far.” For Eloise’s brilliant grammatical inventions, responding to an inquiry about her age with, “I don’t KNOW who old is me!"
Thank you for Oscar's birthday party at the park. For Julian under a picnic table with a piece of chocolate cake he found on the ground. For Milo with a baseball bat tearing into a pikachu piñata that was taller than Oscar, for watching Amanda and Jen laugh together about the cake and negotiate plans for dinner. For finding Moses under a tree with his chin in his hands because Oscar said he didn’t want to be his friend anymore, and being able to arrange an apology. Moses watching dubiously as I made a deal with Oscar, who thought for a minute and then turned to Moses to say, “You can have one more chance." And for how Moses's face lit up at those words - if only it were always that easy to remedy a friendship.
Thank you for all the voices of support that came to me in different ways today - a phone call with Karina; sitting on the curb next to Amanda, squinting into the 5 pm sunshine; Vicki sending me a link to the sermon from Mile Hi this morning about not being broken; Orest sitting across from me in the bedroom telling me that he believed I was still strong enough to do this day. In the midst of everything, Julian engrossed in learning how to open the pages of a book.
Thank you for standing at the swing-set with Orest at the end of the day pushing Julian and Eloise. For Moses wanting to crawl onto my lap and swing with me, his face against mine for longer than usual before jumping off to run away. For going to sleep tonight with the feeling that I am actually going to be able to overcome the difficult things inside of me that have felt impossible to overcome for so long.